Back by popular demand, another blog by AB.
I want to start off by asking if anyone has seen the new tat that DeShaun Stevenson is now repping on his neck? If you haven't, this should shine some light on the situation. http://blogs.bet.com/news/playahater/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/125460.jpg What an inspiration to all of us that love seeing oversized tattoos in awkward places. This tat ranks up there with Steve-O's tattoo of himself on his back or Iron Mikes face tat. I think I will immediately go out and get a c note tatted on my thigh, but replace Ben Franklin with Barack Obama.
Speaking of Obama, congrats on getting the Nobel Peace Prize. You are an inspiration to us all. Change we can count on by not only having a President that is respected outside of Texas, but also by having the minerals to stir up some controversy and actually try and solve the problems of America. Nobody ever made a difference by thinking inside the box, standing in line, doing what others are doing, and being bullied by their non believers. Just ask any successful person ever, and they can attest to that.
Switching to football for a bit, nevermind that Denver is 5-0 and thus tore all credibility from my last blog, but did anyone else see the Nazi Salute that Denver head coach Josh McDaniels cranked at the end of the game against the Patriots? In case you missed it, peep this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JtIe2_pvUo&feature=player_embedded# Where is the penalty for that one? You can't hit quartbacks below the belt, flip into the endzone, give a good old fashioned throat slashing symbol, tweet from the sideline, or hide a cell phone in the goal post, but you can pay homage to Adolph after a victory? Come on Josh McDaniels and come on NFL. Where is the fine for that one? Not even someone from the Raiders coaching staff should be able to get away with that one.
And how about Missouri? I'm not talking about the University of as much as I mean the entire state. Their professional football teams have a combined record of 0-10, their elite collegiate program gave up 27 unanswered points in the 4th quarter to Nebraska to lose the game and drop out of the top 25, and the Cardinals dropped 3 straight games to the Dodgers booting them from the playoffs. I guess there is a good reason why Missouri doesn't have a professional basketball team because they probably would have gone and done something stupid this off season like draft Ricky Rubio. The state of Missouri is so bad at sports right now that I feel sorry for any athlete that has to drive through or play a game in that state. It must suck to know that only a few miles away you could jump higher, run faster, swing harder, and compete better than you can now that you are stuck in the "show me state." Just ask Matt Cassel, Jared Allen, or Johnny Damon. Sorry Missouri, you just suck right now.
Switching topics again, it's good to see that popular America still hasn't given up on everyones favorite domestic abuser Chris Brown. If anyone caught "The Office" this week, they saw his song "Forever" being blasted during the most anticipated Thursday night wedding that I can recall. I know that it was imitating the youtube clip, but it still goes to show that all is forgiven in the public eye if you can just keep churning out hit after hit. Aint that right R. Kelly and Michael Jackson? Personally I feel bad for CB right now. His girl is now getting plowed by Mr. SexyBack himself. Good luck getting her back after that. I think that you should start by saying Yo. Stick to the new stuff your putting out Chris...It's fire...Inferno! Hey at least you still have weddings.
Lastly I want to say big props to my boy James Anderson for prematurely calling Chad Henne the next Touchdown Tom Brady. Sure it's too early to tell, but you must have been on some seriousness to make such a bold statement. Sure the situation is right. Coming off the bench for an injured starter, having a stellar performance on a big stage, being a Michigan Wolverine and all, but did you see the guy in his helmet? He looks like Will Ferrel could play him in a movie. http://i.tsn.com/i/photos/20090826/122382.jpg There is no way that he will ever pull a girl that looks remotely like Gisele Bundchen. He's almost as ugly as Shaun Hill. http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2009/0212/nfl_u_hill_300.jpg
That's all I've got for this one. Let me know if you want more.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
And the Winner Is???
Mr. Jordan kicked it off and Mr. West finished it off.
This weekend was full of winners and losers. Thank you live tv and youtube for continuing to portray the true feelings of our beloved athletes and celebrities.
The first losers are The Cincinnati Bengals:
Not only did you lose to The Denver Broncos, who will struggle to win another game for the rest of the season, but you lost to The Denver Broncos by way of the longest pass with under a minute left in NFL history. Here's a thought, play that prevent defense that supposedly prevents you from winning. I bet you have a W instead of an L if you, bat the ball down, don't touch the ball at all, have someone back deep to tackle Stokley, or if your team is not The Cincinnati Bengals and you are frankly unable to win close games. Way to go Bengals, I look forward to a thrilling season of bad play on the field and even worse play off. Oh and did I mention that you lost to the Denver Broncos?
The second loser is Serena Williams:
I know why that line judge was scared for her life. If I were told that I was going to have any balls shoved down my throat by a human that could have dominated me as easily as Serena would have done that line judge, I would have gone and tattled to my local authority figure as well. Mine just would have been the LAPD. We all know that you got caught up in the moment, you are a major competitor, and you have since admitted your mistake and asked for forgiveness, but come on Serena. Your reputation in the general population just went from muscular woman who plays tennis and wins a lot to muscular woman who plays tennis and wins a lot who will shove balls down your throat if you make her angry. That is not a good reputation to have. The good news is, all you have to do is keep winning and play a little PR game and people will forget about this little episode (Kobe, Lebron, Colt Brennan, the entire Denver Nuggets team, etc.).
The third loser is Charlie Weis:
It's over buddy. It's Michigan vs. Notre Dame in the NBC Washed Up Bowl. Winner still has a chance to bounce back into the national spotlight and may make a respectable bowl game sometime in the next five years, loser gets to finally admit that they are overrated, the rest of the nation outside of their respective state could care less about them, and their coach will be axed at the end of the season. Sorry Charlie Weis, you're out at the end of the year, and if we're lucky, before Notre Dame plays in the sparknotes.com Irrelevant Bowl. Charlie, you are overrated as a college coach, you are getting paid way too much, and your torn ACL isn't the biggest embarrassment that you will suffer as Notre Dame's coach. You do have one chance to salvage your career...beat USC. Good luck with that one.
The forth and final loser is Sprint:
Let's face it, Sprint phones and their service just suck. Period.
And the winners are.
The first winner is Michael Jordan:
Thank you for once again letting us know that you are the greatest of all time, thank you for picking all of your bones with the guy that the coach picked over you in high school to make the varsity team, Dean Smith, Jerry Krause, and Bryon Russell, and thank you for officially calling it a career. A lot of people are bashing you for speaking your mind and sounding off, but I think that it is just what you needed to inspire another generation of youth who have been told that they can't do it, they will not succeed, or they are not good enough. Michael, you used all of these people as motivation and I think your message was for all of us to take moments like these in our lives and prove our doubters wrong. We've all been told that we can't succeed, and sometimes it's just not enough to do what we were told we couldn't do. We have to rub it in our doubters face and let that person know that we were right and they were wrong. It's not rude, it's not classless, it's simply an I told you so. We love you MJ. You're still the man.
The second winner is Taylor Swift:
Sure Kanye stole your spotlight at the VMAs and she will never forget how she was upstaged, but now all of the hearts across America are going out to her. Her record sales will soar for her next album, she got to share the stage with Beyonce to finish her speech, she got to go on talk shows the following week to boost her fame, she actually received a personal apology from Kanye, and most importantly, I now know who she is because wouldn't recognized her if I ran into her until Kanye "took her spotlight" on Sunday. Congratulations Taylor, you truly are a star.
The third and final winner is Kanye West:
Once again you prove why you are the king of controversy. We all gasped when you went up on that stage and took that microphone from that teenager and we were all shocked when as of Tuesday morning you still hadn't apologized personally to Taylor. But Kanye, that's why we love you. We have no idea what you are going to do next. You were absolutely right when you said that Beyonce's video was one of the greatest of all time, because it is, but actions speak louder than words, and your actions were right in line with a spoiled artist who can't give credit when credit is due. We all know that you are the best since he lied (Jay-Z) and he died (Michael Jackson), but you wouldn't have quite the buzz about you if you didn't continue to produce public outbursts the way that only you can. Thank you for embarrassing the teenager, I can't wait til the next album comes out, and hurry up and get on twitter or get a reality show so I can find out exactly how much drama ensues when someone around you switches lanes without signaling, or the line is long at the supermarket, or heaven forbid, they mess up your order at McDonald's. Kanye West does not care about anybody, except for himself, and we love him for it.
This weekend was full of winners and losers. Thank you live tv and youtube for continuing to portray the true feelings of our beloved athletes and celebrities.
The first losers are The Cincinnati Bengals:
Not only did you lose to The Denver Broncos, who will struggle to win another game for the rest of the season, but you lost to The Denver Broncos by way of the longest pass with under a minute left in NFL history. Here's a thought, play that prevent defense that supposedly prevents you from winning. I bet you have a W instead of an L if you, bat the ball down, don't touch the ball at all, have someone back deep to tackle Stokley, or if your team is not The Cincinnati Bengals and you are frankly unable to win close games. Way to go Bengals, I look forward to a thrilling season of bad play on the field and even worse play off. Oh and did I mention that you lost to the Denver Broncos?
The second loser is Serena Williams:
I know why that line judge was scared for her life. If I were told that I was going to have any balls shoved down my throat by a human that could have dominated me as easily as Serena would have done that line judge, I would have gone and tattled to my local authority figure as well. Mine just would have been the LAPD. We all know that you got caught up in the moment, you are a major competitor, and you have since admitted your mistake and asked for forgiveness, but come on Serena. Your reputation in the general population just went from muscular woman who plays tennis and wins a lot to muscular woman who plays tennis and wins a lot who will shove balls down your throat if you make her angry. That is not a good reputation to have. The good news is, all you have to do is keep winning and play a little PR game and people will forget about this little episode (Kobe, Lebron, Colt Brennan, the entire Denver Nuggets team, etc.).
The third loser is Charlie Weis:
It's over buddy. It's Michigan vs. Notre Dame in the NBC Washed Up Bowl. Winner still has a chance to bounce back into the national spotlight and may make a respectable bowl game sometime in the next five years, loser gets to finally admit that they are overrated, the rest of the nation outside of their respective state could care less about them, and their coach will be axed at the end of the season. Sorry Charlie Weis, you're out at the end of the year, and if we're lucky, before Notre Dame plays in the sparknotes.com Irrelevant Bowl. Charlie, you are overrated as a college coach, you are getting paid way too much, and your torn ACL isn't the biggest embarrassment that you will suffer as Notre Dame's coach. You do have one chance to salvage your career...beat USC. Good luck with that one.
The forth and final loser is Sprint:
Let's face it, Sprint phones and their service just suck. Period.
And the winners are.
The first winner is Michael Jordan:
Thank you for once again letting us know that you are the greatest of all time, thank you for picking all of your bones with the guy that the coach picked over you in high school to make the varsity team, Dean Smith, Jerry Krause, and Bryon Russell, and thank you for officially calling it a career. A lot of people are bashing you for speaking your mind and sounding off, but I think that it is just what you needed to inspire another generation of youth who have been told that they can't do it, they will not succeed, or they are not good enough. Michael, you used all of these people as motivation and I think your message was for all of us to take moments like these in our lives and prove our doubters wrong. We've all been told that we can't succeed, and sometimes it's just not enough to do what we were told we couldn't do. We have to rub it in our doubters face and let that person know that we were right and they were wrong. It's not rude, it's not classless, it's simply an I told you so. We love you MJ. You're still the man.
The second winner is Taylor Swift:
Sure Kanye stole your spotlight at the VMAs and she will never forget how she was upstaged, but now all of the hearts across America are going out to her. Her record sales will soar for her next album, she got to share the stage with Beyonce to finish her speech, she got to go on talk shows the following week to boost her fame, she actually received a personal apology from Kanye, and most importantly, I now know who she is because wouldn't recognized her if I ran into her until Kanye "took her spotlight" on Sunday. Congratulations Taylor, you truly are a star.
The third and final winner is Kanye West:
Once again you prove why you are the king of controversy. We all gasped when you went up on that stage and took that microphone from that teenager and we were all shocked when as of Tuesday morning you still hadn't apologized personally to Taylor. But Kanye, that's why we love you. We have no idea what you are going to do next. You were absolutely right when you said that Beyonce's video was one of the greatest of all time, because it is, but actions speak louder than words, and your actions were right in line with a spoiled artist who can't give credit when credit is due. We all know that you are the best since he lied (Jay-Z) and he died (Michael Jackson), but you wouldn't have quite the buzz about you if you didn't continue to produce public outbursts the way that only you can. Thank you for embarrassing the teenager, I can't wait til the next album comes out, and hurry up and get on twitter or get a reality show so I can find out exactly how much drama ensues when someone around you switches lanes without signaling, or the line is long at the supermarket, or heaven forbid, they mess up your order at McDonald's. Kanye West does not care about anybody, except for himself, and we love him for it.
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